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Talk Like a Pirate Day 2011 game giveaway

Ahoy mateys,

Celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day by scribblin’ ye finest buccaneer-them’d joke in Monday’s Writer’s Block, arrr, Scrawl. Fer them jokes that make me “Yo-ho-ho,” me be givin’ away some o’ me swag: 5 winners will receive t’ entire Tales o’ Monkey Island game courtesy o’ Telltale Games. An’ me also award game codes t’ play t’ first episode to 45 random winners throughout t’ tide.

Fair winds, me buckos!

UPDATE: We've announce the 45 episode one winners here.


( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 17th, 2011 01:08 am (UTC)
Sep. 19th, 2011 02:47 pm (UTC)
What's a Pirate's favorite element?
Sep. 20th, 2011 04:25 am (UTC)
While we're talking science--
What was Bluebeard's favorite rock?

Iron Pyrite.

(Yarr--that be fool's gold!)
Sep. 26th, 2011 12:55 pm (UTC)
Re: While we're talking science--
Bluebeard wasnt' a pirate, he was a crazy killer dude.
Blackbeard was a pirate, a crazy killer dude with a ship
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:19 pm (UTC)
What did the pirate say when he crashed his ship into the iceberg?
Shiver me timbers!
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
Q: What happened when Redbeard the Pirate fell into the Blue Sea?

A: He got Marooned!
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)
Pirate Day!
I saw a pirate walking around with a paper towel on his head so

I asked him, "What's with the paper towel?"

He said, "Yaarrrr I got a Bounty on me head."
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC)
My 6 year old helped me write this one on the way to school today. :D

Knock Knock!
Who be there?
Mister Barton!
Mister Barton who?
Mister! Barton down them hatches! There be a squall a'comin' in!
Sep. 19th, 2011 04:22 pm (UTC)
What's a Pirate's favorite fruit?

An Orrrrrrrrrrnge
Sep. 21st, 2011 03:07 am (UTC)
Or anything that fights scurvy.
Sep. 19th, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated ARRRRRR.
Sep. 19th, 2011 05:40 pm (UTC)
So this pirate walks into a bar, and he's got a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender says "What's with the steering wheel?"

The pirate says "Yarrr, it's drivin me nuts."
Sep. 19th, 2011 11:09 pm (UTC)
This one. FTW. XD
Sep. 22nd, 2011 01:45 am (UTC)
Sep. 19th, 2011 05:50 pm (UTC)
What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They say "YO HO!" and they limp!

Sep. 19th, 2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
A little boy knocks on the door. Old man answers.
Little boy:"Trick or Treat!"
Old Man: "And what are you?"
Little boy: "I'm a Birate!"
Old Man: "OHHHH...and where are your buchanneers?"
Little boy: "Under me bucking hat!"
Sep. 19th, 2011 08:57 pm (UTC)
A pirate's favorite cARRRtoon?

Aye M Weasel and I ARRR Baboon!
Sep. 19th, 2011 09:44 pm (UTC)
Why are pirates, pirates?

Sep. 19th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
What's the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One's a rumbly tummy and the other's a tumbling rummmy.
Sep. 19th, 2011 10:21 pm (UTC)
Where does a one-legged pirate go for beakfast?

Sep. 20th, 2011 03:28 am (UTC)
I tried to wipe my screen when I saw your icon. Very funny lol.
Sep. 19th, 2011 10:22 pm (UTC)
Why do pirates get scurvy?
Because they have terrible hygiene.
Sep. 19th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
q: what be a pirate's favourite letter?
a: r!
q: ay, you'd think 'twould be, but 'tis the c...
Sep. 19th, 2011 11:44 pm (UTC)
A pirate walks into a tavern and the tavern master says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible!"

"What are yeh meaning?" the pirate replies, "I find meself fine."

The tavern master says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "me an' t' shipmates were under fire from t' Queen Anne's Revenge one night when this cannon ball comes along an' blasts me leg clean off. One Legged Billy whittled me this wooden leg and once I was used to it, I found meself thinkin' it's just as good as t'other one, really."

"Yes," says the tavern master, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "two months after I lost me leg, me an' me shipmates boarded the ship of t' Dread Pirate Roberts. After some time I found meself crossing swords with Roberts himself an before the fight was over me hand was sliced clean off at the wrist. Captain Jack rigged this hook up fer me, and I found that in time I got used to it, really."

"Oh," says the tavern master, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some o' them nasty gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up at that moment to shout to Scurvy Pete as he were in the crow's nest, and one of them shat right in me eye."

"So," replied the tavern master, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I wasn't quite used to me hook yet."

Edited at 2011-09-20 03:39 am (UTC)
Sep. 20th, 2011 12:20 am (UTC)
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!
Sep. 20th, 2011 01:47 am (UTC)
Man I was gonna say this one D=
Sep. 20th, 2011 02:07 am (UTC)
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his belt. The bartender says, "You know, you've got a steering wheel attached to your belt." The pirate replies, "Arrr, and it's drivin' me nuts."
Sep. 20th, 2011 03:08 am (UTC)
In truth, today I boarded the high seas
Well actually the Chicago River, to take a river tour.

Of what, you ask?

Sep. 20th, 2011 04:15 am (UTC)
Perhaps this is a bit inappropriate, but. . .
A pirate walks into a bar, bleeding from his abdomen. He stumbles up to the bar, and asks the bartender: "Xaggee isbitaal noogu dhow?"

The bartender replies, "I do not speak Somali."
( 29 comments — Leave a comment )


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